Premorbid Intelligence

01 Apathetic

It was meant to be easy
to overcome my fears
But there’s nobody here
climbing one step further

People started to arrive
Unsuccessfully breathing
And my hands are sweating
It’s coming toward me

Vainly contact endeavor
Surrendered and soundless scream
Totally unjustified
Stronger than could be

Even when I try so hard
Peacefulness when I'm alone
Every attempt is a terrible torment
I wish I had never left my lonely world

I'm getting hungrier now
There’s no food left around
I will have to re-interact
Or I will starve to death

Searching for a clear place
Everywhere full of people
Starting to get dizzy
Totally consuming myself

I will have to face my fears
To meet my basic needs
Colossal, terrible mountain
Why do you threaten me!

It seems there's nobody here
But when I look all around
I see someone
I'm falling (fainting)

Someone is holding me
People can be good
One more chance

Even when I’m trying hard
Peacefulness when I'm alone
Every attempt is a terrible torment
I wish I had never left my lonely world

02 Janus-Faced

It seems there is no change
Life remains the same
Now I can control myself
Magic capsule will be tamed

Sensations start to appear
Like never felt before
And I can hear in my head
Allowing to make more

Need to control myself
It’s stronger than I am

When you’re in this condition
It’s hard to know if what I feel
It's just madness taking me
Hangover from the medicine
Consumption prophesied
Potentially dependent on it
Creating moorings between
The future, present and the past

Nothing is good enough
A will to save the world
Strange impulse for buying stuff
Attending events and acting weird

Burning all my bonds
Kicked out by my dear ones
Talking loud in a grunting way
In the end it’ll all be burned

Not aware anymore
My alter ego dominates me

Day starts upside down
Green and gold matches everything
The grains in my pockets again
In my burnt-out smelling clothes

Writing up a book
Learning how to cook
Boyfriend, boxing, climbing, paint
But don’t forget to take the pills

Parachute jump,
Look the rising sun
Say a prayer to Lithium
I dance the rumba cause I want

When you’re in this condition
It’s hard to know if what I feel
It's just madness taking me
Hangover from the medicine
Consumption prophesied
Potentially dependent on it
Creating moorings between
The future, present and the past

03 Man in White

Plenty of stress and pain
All my body drain
I will choose a quickly way
Easy pass I get
Any moment I can
A matter of willingness

Seeking for fatigue placation
Ampoule content should be taken

Whispers and complaint
No attention again
My head is in another place
Caution now is needed
Everybody see it
If get caught, it may end

It has the power to provide
Ridiculous sense of euphoria

Masses endure all the time
And deep inside my duty prevail
Instincts call forbidden impulse
Aftermath for sure is real
As Hippocrates always stressed
My life should be immaculate
Maybe an exception allowed
Endless rescues be forgiven

Craved fairly profound
A step to take the compound
Unforeseen damm locked doors
Frenetic chase has start
Where are the freakin caps
No control over my moves

In the same place, key was always
Few more steps, one door lock away
Chills get down to my spine
No emotion survive
Anxiety came close to me

Feeling that still screaming
People are complaining
There’s only a way to help them all

Act was taken before I knew it
I did the dosage injection through me

Masses endure all the time
And deep inside my duty prevail
Instincts call forbidden impulse
Aftermath for sure is real
As Hippocrates always stressed
My life should be immaculate
Maybe an exception allowed
Endless rescues be forgiven

Mental confusion
Outcome may end
With no expectation
Briefly guiltiness
Just for a moment
Keep going on

Masses endure all the time
And deep inside my duty prevail
Instincts call forbidden impulse
Aftermath for sure is real
As Hippocrates always stressed
My life should be immaculate
Maybe an exception allowed
Endless rescues be forgiven

Never doing this again
This might become my very end
Maybe try to obliterate
But this vice seems to be my fate
When it appear being out of my head
No, suddenly it come again
Didehydro-epoxy-methylmorphinan-diol… Hell

(You are no match for your own will… morphinum)
(Be the domain of your mistakes… addicta)

04 Calm Down

My life was going well
When this event changed everything
People who cared about me
Act as if I do not exist

My world began to collapse
I thought it should be the end
But only a glimmer of hope
And luckily life moves on

Easy to complain about anything
When your heart is breathing
Look for those who really suffer
Start to see the world in a different way

When you least expect
Someone special appears
Giving you strength to keep breathing
Helping you to see the truth

The world from another perspective
It can be better than it looks
I thought I had lost everything
But it opened myself for a better world

Easy to complain about anything
When your heart is breathing
Look for those who really suffer
And start to see the world in a different way

05 Satyriasis

One more hunting day
I feel the smell from far away
I was born to do it lay
Any price I’m gonna pay
Feelings turn to a darker gray
Love don’t fill me anyway
I was made for it,
Made for do it
Slave of desire

Pleasure, passion, excitement
Agony, curse, despair
God please make it good again

You come to me with these words
Their meaning would never reflect its curse
Leave me alone, I don’t deserve
You’ll get your payment, filthy pervert

Drowning in this pit of joy
Please, more, is ever enough
Free will is long passed gone
Instincts command and I obey

You’ll be, around me
You need to see
Your shame falling
Turning dirty

Passion, curse, take me out of this path off
Agony, madness, god please make it good again

You come to me with these words
Their meaning would never reflect its curse
Leave me alone, I don’t deserve
You’ll get your payment, filthy pervert

Drowning in this pit of joy
Please, more, is ever enough
Free will is long passed gone
Instincts command and I obey

06 Bearer of the Pain

It’s not since you’ve gone
This thing seems to have been ever here...
The matter of drifting
Hang on for the bad part of the tour...

It might get any worth
I’ll try to draw this picture of sorrow
My mere presence is too much
Dive a little deeper to feel ... my friend...

Sometimes you’re the eater,
Sometimes you’re the one to be devoured
I swear this is the last time I will ever speak about it, damn thing...
I warn you... you don’t want to get closer...

Can’t stand it, why life must be so challenging
Oh, not even death could put an end to this!
Nothing you make will ease the weight of my sadness
Make your way, I’m helpless, endless, unattended... Bearer of the pain!

Warm and rotten..lost my motto..
Worn, forgotten ... misbegotten!

Enemy! Wearing his disguise in me...
In me! I know the answer is within!
Win me! All the times I try and give in!
Give in sustaining the being...
Never play down the enemy!
Never play down!!! (Toi même)

07 Panacea

The hard way to walk
Has scrambled inside me
The dance that makes no more sense
Like rhythm has suddenly stopped

Gift of life just
Can’t be taken
Start to hear them
Judas demons

Death my old friend
Comes to greet me
My miracle friend
The truth you are luring

Perceive monochromatically
Leave me be, vanishing
Resistance to restart, shatters my story
The absence of joy is killing already

Gift of life just
Can’t be taken
Start to hear them
Judas demons

Death my old friend
Comes to greet me
My miracle friend
The truth you are luring

Peace out of reach
Release sails be free

How you ever dare
You little pathetic worm
It’s useless to resist
Accept you never had the control
Over your soul insolent child
Destiny shall make it`s path no matter how
(...) how you ever dare
You little pathetic worm
It’s useless to resist
Accept you never had the control

Peace out of reach
Release sails be free
Horizon I see
Why did you run from me?

Ancient cultures had the keys
Death or life, were no mystery
Their gates, are still open now
Now I see, that death is not final

Gift of life just
Can’t be taken

Gift of life, now I see
Time was never here
Oh how would, how would I feel
I`m all, I`m all of this

Love depart,
Love arrive,
All in me

CIRCLE OF LIFE:

Illusion of doubt it’s a cancer
But no disease is real
There’s no need to know all the answers
For the answers, are you

Now that I know that the answer
It’s me with all within
There's no need to look for the answer
For the answer, is me…

Bliss, don’t be afraid when inside the mist,
The only way lays ahead, persist,
Not even all devils could resist,
One single spark of his child.

Now that I know that the answer
It’s me with all within
There’s no need to look for the answer
For the answer, is me…

Bliss, don’t be afraid when inside the mist,
The only way lays ahead, persist,
Not even all devils could resist,
One single spark of his child`s

Bliss, don’t be afraid when inside the mist,
The only way lays ahead, persist,
Not even all devils could resist,
One single spark of his child.

08 Neurosis (and the Attraction Theaory)

Waking up
Only a thought comes to my head
There’s someone to kill me
Right behind the next door

Going through
I keep on trying to clear my mind
But my drink has a strange taste
Would my own wife poisoned me?

What am I thinking?
This just can’t be real

Every day is the same thing
Inside out my sanity
Time pass more and more slowly
I need to get back my life

On the streets
There is always something strange
God, speed up the step
Someone is chasing me!

A feeling that just don’t go away
I stop for a moment
Knees on the ground
Everyone is laughing, I’m easy prey

What am I thinking?
Maybe this is real

Every day is the same thing
Inside out my sanity
Time pass more and more slowly
I need to get back my life

Life could be different, but it’s useless
I just can’t rule reality
Mind and watch out til’ you lay
And carry on with your life
(Carry on with your lie)

We’re full of your manias
His lunacy always affects us
Patience has limits
We’re finishing this right now
No...

Life can be lighter
Unleash your consciousness
Pleasures free the mind
Always strive for this

Not every day is the same
Reality is easy to see
I need to enjoy my happiness
Because time flies

This feeling was excellent
But something is different
Now the day is gone (we are preparing something for you)
My fears reappear (your fears will come true)

Not every day is the same
Reality is easy to see
I need to enjoy my happiness
Because time flies

Every day is the same thing
Inside out my sanity
Time pass more and more slowly
I need to get back my life

Life can be different, you should accept it
The path is hard for everyone
Learn to live with your mistakes
And carry on with your life
(Carry on with your lie)

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